Well , It has been a real long time since i posted on iTg …. Kinda missed posting here .First of all i apologize for not being able to post here , but i was going through many ups and downs on the personal front due to which i was unable to post. But now i am back 🙂 ….. and to begin with ,,i thought why not do a post on a personal experience of mine ??Now i actually dont have an idea that how many of the “geeks” who follow iTg have actually had a breakup 😉 but still …. for those who have had it …. here are my two cents … 🙂
So the relationship you were in is over, but you are not over your ex quite yet. Which is something very natural , all the dreams you saw together , all the memories of those moments which still haunt you and those countless sweet nothings they whispered …. all that makes it more difficult for you to get over them.Then one sudden day you see they are already moving on. How do you deal with it? It is hard, and there is no way to instantly feel better. It may take awhile to get over your ex, but seeing them with someone else can make it even harder!
So, for all you newbies who ask the questions, "Will the hurting ever stop," or "Will my ex come back," or "Why did he/she do this," this is how it typically goes down.
You two break up–doesn’t matter who does it. You immediately panic and begin chasing, begging, pleading, phoning, e-mailing, IMing, stalking (okay not all of them, just pick whichever one you did). Most of us will likely do some things during this stage that will make you cringe when you think back on it, say after about 3 months.
You lose your focus, neglect your health , your job , studies , in short …. everything important.You weep at the slightest provocation ,thinking that You know no one else will come along who even comes close to being as marvelous as your ex (excuse me while I chuckle to myself here ;)).And while you are busy torturing your self ,your so called Special one remain steadfast in their denial to get back together. Many of them leapfrog into new relationships, immediately being exclusive with a new person. For those that do leapfrog, they appear to just "replace" you with a new model. All of the things you two used to do, they now do with someone else.
You hear about them and their new life. You are desperate for any crumbs of news about their life. Many of us make things worse here by trying to use manipulation to get them back–yet they stay away from us like we are the plague.
Now think about all this for a moment ,without being biased ,You are a wonderful person ,you are loved by your parents ,your friends so why do we demean ourselves for that loser who left us alone ? Is it justified for you? is it justified for those who love you ? well , i dont think so … and i am sure that even you know that this torture you are subjecting yourself to is not the right thing to do.
Believe me , i have been there n experienced it all.The guy i was head over heels in love with left me …… all alone , when i needed him , wanted him to be with me ……. and after spending days weeping and nights cursing myself doing all sorts of stupid stuff which included frantically googling for phrases like “how to get your ex back” one very fine day i came to find out that he was happily fooling around(read:compulsively flirting) with a classmate of his .I was shattered too ,After all he was my knight in shining armour ……who proved to be a loser in aluminium foil 😛 ……….But then i realised , are all these tears worth it? Here i am punishing myself and he doesnt even care whether i am dead or alive.
Now’s the tough time. Nothing but time works. Everday the ache in your heart grows a little less. It’s only nanobits that it dies down by. But everyday it will get slowly better. You’ll have setbacks. You’ll run into your ex accidently. You’ll see your ex with their new "friend." You’ll receive a phone call or an e-mail from your ex who "doesn’t want to be in a relationship but still wants to be friends (with benefits if you allow).
Here’s another important part. You need to truly sit down and truthfully look back at the relationship and understand what you did to help with it’s demise. If you miss this part, you go through all the suffering for nothing because Buddy, you’ll be back here again. This post is to teach you about you. To teach you how to be a better partner, a better person. Missing that lesson is detrimental to the whole process. It’s the REASON that you’re going through this. God (or whatever your higher power is) needed you to learn something about YOU. Don’t miss out on the lesson.